Stuck in a Tree

Hello you lovely people you! I am so sorry that I have not written in....well...approximately 134 days. So here is what's going on in my life. It's my senior year of High School, and I have been busy busy busy! I gave up my mascot position to let someone else enjoy the fun of romping around in an eagle suit in 100 degree weather. I am taking fun classes, and boring classes. I'm the president of the Big Sister's Club at school, where an upperclassmen girl takes a Freshman girl under her wing and mentors her.....Oh! I was accepted to everywhere I applied to college! That's a plus! In the mean time, I have been applying for scholarships and whatnot.

I'm getting a new prosthesis! That's always fun. It's like Christmas, but better! Do any of you have a vacuum system? That's the type of leg I am getting, and I'm kind of nervous about having a different type of leg since I'm so used to the pin-lock system.

Ok so here's the fun stuff. I have discovered geocaching. For those of you who don't know what geocaching is, you have an app on your phone or tablet, and you can view where all the geocaches are. One will be in a tree or something, and there is a log in it and you write down that you were there, and if it's a larger geocache you can sometimes leave something behind. Yes, it sounds nerdy. Yes, it is nerdy. Yes, it is for people who have WAY too much time on their hands and nothing better to do. It has been so much fun though! However, I would not geocache if your prosthesis does not fit well. Here is why:

I was with two friends, and we were behind a wall in a really branchy area with trees and sticks and tons of bugs. I was looking for the geocache all over the place! So I thought that it may be in a tree. So I'm standing on a bunch of logs, trying to look up this tree to find this geocache. I finally find a good branch to step up on and get into the tree. Well, I step up and get on the branch (yay for upper body strength), and all of a sudden, I feel the all-to-familiar slip. My leg has fallen off. So now, I'm sitting up in a tree, with no leg. My friends are nowhere to be seen, and I was alone. To make things worse, there was no geocache in the tree. I call out to my friends, and they finally come around the corner. Of course, since my friends are so loving and caring, they just stand there, look at my leg, and look at me. Then they laugh. After about three minutes of my friends in hysterics, they finally retrieve my leg for me, and give it to me. I successfully get down from the tree. Of all places to be stuck without a leg, I never thought that a tree would be one of them. But then again, I am Emily, and too many unexpected things happen to me.

And we never found the geocache. :(


Well. That's the adventure of the geocache. There will probably be many more stories to come. I am sorry about not writing as often as I could, but hey, I'm a senior and doing important life impacting things.

OH! I've been meaning to do this for a while now. I'm on social media! If you want to follow me and hear about my daily shenanigans on a day to day basis, feel free to follow me on Twitter! @eparker95

And if you can't read, don't want to read, or just like pictures I'm also on Instagram! @pemily95

And now....the big one. Ask.fm This is a website where you can ask me a question, any question anonymously, and I will answer it within 24 hours.  ask.fm/pemily95

One more thing. I told y'all I've been applying for scholarships and stuff. Well here's one of the big scholarships I applied for. It's a video! I hope y'all enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Adshy2_CFjo



MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Flying as an Amputee

Hello everyone! I hope that your summer is awesome. I have had a pretty adventurous summer so far, but alas, today marked the two week countdown until school starts back up. After I finished crying, I decided that I probably needed to update y'all! I have been thinking about a new post, and I thought "Hey. It's summertime. A lot of people travel!" So this post is about why traveling is such a pain.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE traveling. I have been very blessed to have the privilege to travel to several different places. I've been to England, France, all over the United States, and Canada. My family tries to get up to Canada every year for our family vacation. It's always nice weather up there, and the Canadian Rockies are absolutely gorgeous. So, of course, we went to Canada this year.

We got up and went to the airport VERY early in the morning. After dealing with some not-so-friendly United Airline Representatives, we of course had to go to security.

So as we all know, the TSA has gotten very uptight over these past few years. I am happy that they have such strict rules, and I love knowing that I am safe on an airplane. However, I can live without the attitude that they sometimes have. Also because of the rules, you either have to be porn-ified or molested if you make the beeper go off, so being an amputee with a metal stick as/inside your prosthesis it's gonna detect it and you are going to be sexually assaulted.

Since I don't like being touched by a complete stranger, I have just decided that it is much easier to take off my leg and let it go through the scanner. However, I always get in trouble when I do this. Some version of the following conversation happens:

Me: pops off leg 
TSA: What are you doing?! Put that back on!
Me: No, I'm fine. I would rather hop through than have the pat down.
TSA: You need to have the pat down!
Me: I don't want the pat down. Can I please hop through now?
TSA: lets me hop through  You know you don't have to do that. You can just deal with the pat down.
Me: I don't want the pat down. It's just an inconvenience. Thank you though.

After the cranky TSA lady finally calms down, I wait for my leg. The fun part about the lengthy process is watching the person's face who is manning the screen. When they see a leg come through, they always look extremely confused. It's the best! One of the perks of having one leg is getting to mess with the TSA agents.

Anyway, I finally get my leg back and I go on my way through the airport. Up until recently, I didn't realize I qualify for pre-boarding, soooo WINNING!  Seriously though. All amputees out there, USE IT. It's so amazing. Sometimes the flight attendants will give you a drink to enjoy while the plane is boarding.

After everyone is situated and as comfortable as possible, the flight takes off. (Unless you are flying United. Then you'll have to sit through an hour delay.)  I don't know if I'm the only one who has this problem, but my knee gets irritated after a couple of hours of sitting. If you know all your seat mates, it's fine to just pop off the prosthesis, but it's not really socially acceptable to pop it off next to a stranger.....anyway, the flight takes however long to get to its destination. That moment the pilot turns off the seatbelt sign, EVERYONE IN THE PLANE STANDS UP AT THE SAME TIME. Have you ever noticed that? It happens! Just watch. Then you have to go through the awkward line that takes a long time and you are really close to each other....then you get out into the terminal. Then you head off to your travels....and hopefully have a fun time.


I hope y'all enjoyed this post! Please feel free to comment and give any feedback that you wish!

Dislocations and Flying Bras

Tis the season to be HOT. Yes, that's right. Summer is officially upon us. I do love 110 degree weather and 99% humidity. But hey. That's Texas for you. Anyway, I finally got out of school four weeks ago, and I have already managed to hurt myself. But let's back up a little bit.

Last year (summer 2012) I became a camp counselor for MD Anderson's pediatric camp for patients and their siblings ages 5-12. I used to be a camper at Camp Star Trails, and I remember how much fun I had as a camper. I wanted to come back and love on the kids as they got to leave the hospital or any treatment behind for a week and just have fun. Being a camp counselor is one of the best things I have ever experienced. I get upset over minute things, but these kids go through things that I can't even imagine, and they still have a smile on their face. It's amazing. They are such an inspiration. 

This year I wanted to come back and be a counselor again. I got there, made some new friends, played ultimate games of Spoons, and about a thousand games of Uno. The week went by fast, and it was finally the last day. Of course, after running after ten year olds for a week, you get pretty exhausted. The kids had pretty much all left and all I could think about was getting in the car and going home to my soft bed. Unfortunately, that all went downhill. 

Since I am in fact an amputee, walking long distances is sometimes difficult for me. The facilities that Camp Star Trails uses has golf carts on hand to help any kids or counselors who may need to ride instead of walk. There was another amputee there, a camper so I had a deal with her cabin where I would give her rides to  her activity, then I would go to mine, and I would pick her back up. All that to say that my cabin had a golf cart. So my three fellow counselors and I drove back to our cabin and did some last minute cleaning and packing. Our plan was to put everything on the cart and drive back up to the gathering hall to put it in the cars and such. We parked the cart at our cabin, took the key, and went inside. Ten minutes later, we go back outside and the cart is gone! I am still not sure how this happened since I had the key around my neck on a lanyard. We had to walk up to the gathering hall. 

It's not that far of a walk, and I didn't really NEED the cart, it was just nice to have for the longer distances. We were walking back up on the sidewalk, rolling and carrying our bags along the way. 

Let's do an equation here. 

Rolling suitcase + Klutzy Emily + a backpack = Bad plan. 

I think we have established by now I am a klutz. A huge one. It's pretty bad. So anyway, we were walking along and I basically tripped over suitcase. Normally, I would have gotten up, laughed, and dealt with the teasing that would probably come along with it. But not this time. No....my body had other plans in mind. What I think happened is my prosthetic twisted or something. Anyway, I was walking, I tripped, and next thing I knew I was in excruciating pain. This pain is unexplainable. It was worse than amputation. I was screaming. The camp doctor came over and tried to figure out what was wrong, but felt as if he shouldn't try to fix anything since he isn't an orthopedic. I completely understand that now, but at the time, I was not happy. I remember him trying to ask me what was wrong with my leg and me replying with something along the lines of "I don't know. You tell me. You're the doctor!" Not one of my prouder moments, but I get pretty sassy when I'm in pain. 

About this time, I have attracted many people by my screaming. My three fellow counselors, camp staff, the doctor, the head nurse, and a few more counselors were all standing over me as I sat on the sidewalk, holding my nub. I was able to pop my prosthesis off, which is good. So, two male counselors came over with a golf cart to take me to the parking lot and put me in my parents car. (They had thankfully just arrived.) The nurse gave me 800 mg of Advil and a Tylenol 3. (Extreme pain killers.) They didn't really help that much though. I needed something more heavy duty. 

Now on a side note, I'm an optimistic person. I look ahead, and I always try to find the bright side to everything. So here's the glimmering thing about THIS story. These two male counselors were EXTREMELY attractive. They picked me up and put me on the back of the golf cart and put me in the back of my parents car. 

Too bad I couldn't enjoy it. But if these counselors happen to stumble upon this one day, I would like to say thank you for your help. Y'all are great.  

Ok so back to this tale of woe. My parents got to the car, and decided to take me to the Emergency Room in Katy. My parents are friends with an orthopedic, and he recommended this place. The only problem was that Katy was an hour or so away, and I knew I couldn't handle the car ride. I begged my parents to take me to nearest Emergency Room. Finally, they did. But honestly, they might as well have taken me to Katy. We get to the ER. They give my dad a wheelchair with no help getting out of the car. My parents had to get me out, but it was extremely painful. I'm pretty sure I woke up people in China with my screams. My dad had a ringing in his ear for an hour. We get in there, and by now I can't handle the pain any longer. My mom had to convince the nurses that I needed to be handled immediately. They took me back, took of my gel liner that was still on, and we saw this: 

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! IF YOU THINK YOU WILL GET SICK OR DIE OR SOMETHING ELSE HORRIBLE DO NOT LOOK AT PICTURE! 

Finally, we get put into a little alcove with a curtain and the doctor comes in. He takes one look at my knee and looks absolutely confused. After a couple of X Rays, he finally says that it is time to put the knee back in place. He goes over there and starts massaging it back in, but it still hurts like crazy. He said that the knee had "minimal improvement" which is doctor speak for he had no idea what he was doing. You would think he had never seen a dislocation before in his life! It was nuts! Four hours later, my mom called another orthopedic doctor at my regular hospital. THAT doctor got on the phone with the ER doctor and walked him through what to do. Basically what happened was the doctor didn't make me straighten out my nub before he started to relocate it. I am still in a terrible amount of pain at this point, and I'm tired and sick of being in the hospital. The ER doctor goes over to my nub and takes the pillow out from under it without any indication what he was doing, and it was painful! So again, my sassy pants took over and I told him I was going to need a bit more warning before he did anything. I think that made him angry because he kinda walked away and didn't come back for ten minutes. After he was done throwing himself a pity party, he came back over and gently took the pillow away. He asked me to straighten out the nub as much as I could. I straightened it out pretty far, and I thought I couldn't go any further. He looked at the nurse and told her to "pull the stump out."

At this point, what goes through my mind is "No one is pulling my stump."  So I gritted my teeth, straightened it out a few more inches and then I felt a POP and instant relief. The doctor was dumfounded. He was looking at my knee, looked at me, and looked at my knee again. "What did you do?!" he asked.

"I straightened out my knee more...."

"What...but...how...." were his only words

My mom had been texting my sisters the entire time while we were at the hospital, and she of course let them know when it relocated. My sister and her boyfriend had been praying only a couple of minutes before it relocated. This is absolute proof that prayer works, and that God was watching over me that day.

After X Rays, we found out that my knee had been fully relocated. The doctor gave me a brace to put my leg in, and they sent me off. Unfortunately, three doses of morphine and six doses of other painkillers don't exactly blend well together in the stomach. I was sick for the next two days. But that's a nasty story that we don't have to go into detail about.

After we got home, my mom called my doctor at MD Anderson and asked him what we should do next. I was ordered to have an MRI on the nub. I have had several MRIs before, so this was no problem for me.

For whatever reason though, I had a complete Dory moment and forgot that I was supposed to take off my bra   certain undergarments that have a wire. I realized this as I was going into the back to get my MRI taken, and I asked the male technician about it. He said I had to take it off, but I could do it in the back room. We get to the room, he steps out, and I start taking off this undergarment. Now, for those of you that do not know, an MRI machine is basically a gigantic magnet. So when this undergarment with a metal wire was taken off and put on the table next to me, it flew onto the machine. This magnet is very strong, and it took some muscle to get it off. But luckily I was able to, and didn't have to alert the technician of any embarrassing moments.

So here's the diagnosis. I have to be on crutches while wearing my leg for 6 weeks.....it's just a minor setback.

Have a great summer everybody!

E

Jaws

My U.S. History class is in the middle of our final project before the end of the school year. The project is called "I Love the Decades". Each group is assigned a five year period. For the project you are required to make a video about the decade, including events, politics, and all the historical stuff. Then the fun part comes in. You also have to add in the movies and music of the decade as well.

My group of six was assigned 1971-1975. We did all of the historical stuff, then we started to add in the fun aspect of the project. Movies. Of course, when my group found out that the movie Jaws was made in 1975, they freaked out. After much begging and pleading, I finally agreed to be the victim of a shark attack.

Yeah. You can see where this is going.

When it is springtime in Texas, it starts to warm up. It had been in the 90s all week, so we decided that it would be a good week to film this shark attack scene at my friends house. However, the one day we decide to film the winds turned and it ended up being 60 degrees outside. (I know that's not cold for some people, but I am Texan.)

Anyway, we were able to get most of the group together, minus a couple of people. We were at Danielle's house, so she got dibs on playing the shark. Morgan (y'all have heard of her in previous posts) was my friend I was "sun tanning" with, and Ashleigh was filming.

We begin to film, and it is already pretty cold outside. Danielle gets in the pool, and starts to swim around in a shark floaty. Morgan and I are out on the side of the pool, tanning away, when suddenly my leg gets "eaten off"  I was not expecting this next part to happen.

When Danielle came and "bit my leg off" I got dragged into the pool. It was freezing. I started to flail and scream and shake and shiver. It made for a pretty great video, but the reaction you see is real. Not acting.

My friends are so loving and caring, and they wanted to help me with my moment of shock! Right after we filmed more of me in the pool, dying and getting eaten and whatnot.  By the end of the 20 minutes, my lips were blue, my nub was numb, and I couldn't feel my fingers. Finally, after warming up, we were able to get everything together.

Here are some screenshots of the video:

Me getting eaten 

Me dead

                                                   My reaction when I first hit the water

                                                              Me getting eaten again

BANG! (Now Updated!!)

Back in the glory days of middle school I decided it would be a good idea to play softball. I played it when I was younger before my amputation, so I thought it would be an easy transition back into the game.

I couldn't be more wrong. 

It was pretty tough, and I was a terrible player.  So it was rare that I ever got to play, and when I did, it was always pretty pathetic. I did like the girls on the team, and they were kind to me despite my un-athletic-ness. 

One Saturday, we were in a tournament game, and we were about to squash the other team and win the entire tournament. My coach finally decided to let me play!!  (Granted, we were 15 points ahead, but....that's the beside the point._ 

If you ever watch baseball or softball, you know that when a player goes up to bat, he/she either hits the plate or their shoes with the bat. They basically do something that defines them, or makes them a memorable player.  (At least that's what I had been told)  Back then, I had a hard plastic leg. So one of my friends on the team, Morgan, (the same girl who stole my leg in the last post!) told me that I should go up to the plate and hit my leg with my bat as hard as I could. I laughed, but didn't want to in fear of breaking my prosthesis, but then the entire team backed her up and threatened to beat me up....or something like that.

When it was finally my turn to bat, I went up to the plate, took my bat, and BANG!!! I hit my prosthesis as hard as I could. The pitcher was taken back by this. She had to step back and take a moment to pull herself together and get back in focus. It must not have worked, because she threw the ball right over my head.

"Hmuelk" the umpire grunted (which means ball, by the way.)

Second pitch- again, I'm a lousy player, so I actually missed this one.

Somehow, it ended up being three balls, and two strikes. This would be the final pitch that I would be thrown. I would get a walk, strike out, or (like this would happen) hit the ball. I was kind of nervous, but the pitcher was even more flustered. She threw the ball and it was coming down really low. I knew I wasn't going to hit it because I would have gotten a strike, so I would get to walk. Instead I hear another BANG!!!!

I look down, and the ball has landed a couple of feet in front of me. I knew I hadn't swung the bat, so what was that sound?

Then it occurred to me. I had been hit on my prosthetic leg. In this case, that is, if you are hit, you get a walk.

The entire softball team started to laugh. The parents were dying, and my coach was standing there, bewildered as I was. I threw dan my bat and jogged to first base, laughing the entire time.

Now I had a heavy limp at the time, so as I limped off, the other team must have thought I had been seriously injured. The other coach called a timeout, came and got my coach, and went to the umpire. I learned later that the other coach had been worried that I had sprained my leg, or broken it or something. My coach just laughed and let them know that I'm an amputee.

That is one of the best memories of middle school.


I hope that you enjoyed this post!! Now, please do this for me....

I would love some feedback!! Please, comment and tell me what you think about the blog, or if you have any requests or questions!!

Newest Update:

I have gotten a few requests for a picture of me in my softball days. Here you are!!

Leg in the Hall

I know....I know.....
I was supposed to write in at least once a week. But hey....I'm a high schooler.....things happen.


So here is a story that happened a couple of weeks ago. One of our teachers was gone for two days, so we were stuck watching a movie in class. By the way, Singin' in the Rain is a really good movie. We watched it twice in one week in different classes....

My friend, Morgan, decided that THIS WAS THE DAY she was going to take my leg and run away with it. I think she did it to see if she could set off the sub, (who was crazy) but I DEFINITELY did not have any part of that nonsense. Psh. Never....

Morgan had to leave class to go sing the national anthem at some event the elementary school was having. She has an amazing voice, and she had to go share it with the world I guess. So on her way out the door she takes my leg and runs off with it, above her head, outside the room. Everyone thought this was hilarious....until she didn't come back. It then dawned upon me that she had taken my leg and wouldn't be back until the next period. It would be very strange to hop halfway across the school, and crawling was definitely NOT an option.
Now, I go to a fairly small school, so pretty much everybody knows everybody. I would say 95% of the high school population know I'm an amputee, so it did not surprise me that someone sent me this picture:

Apparently, Morgan had left my leg outside the classroom. It was just chilliin' out there....I can only imagine the faces of those poor, poor fish walking by and seeing this leg randomly in the middle of the hall.

Anyway, one of my really good friends, Ashleigh, was an angel. She ran outside and grabbed my leg and came back into the room yelling "EMILY!!! I FOUND YOUR LEG!!!!"


The sub had no idea that any of this was going on.

Mafia

This past summer I went to Europe with a group from my school. There were a lot of other students from all over the U.S there as well, so it makes perfect sense to transport everyone via bus. Anyway, the second day of the trip we were going from the Caen/Normandy area to Paris. This is after a nine hour plane ride, three hours on the bus from Heathrow to the seaside, a four hour ferry ride to France, and an hour bus ride to our hotel. The night before we had gotten about five hours of sleep, so we were delirious. After a morning/early afternoon of awesome (Europe as a whole is another story….one word. amazing.) we were tired, but with the adrenaline running, we weren't tired enough to take a nap. Our group was sitting toward the back of the bus  with another group from a church. They convinced people in our group to play the game Mafia with them. Now, if you don't know the game of Mafia, here's how it works:

Everyone gets a card, and depending on which card you get, that is the role that you are playing. Basically, if you are in the mafia, you all choose someone to "kill." The police then accuse someone else in the group of committing the crime, and the one accused has to present a case as to why they are innocent. 

Anyway someone was "murdered", and I was accused of being the "murderer." Wen I was asked to make my case as to why I was not the murderer, my brain didn't really compute with my mouth. I didn't think about the fact that I did not know half the people we were playing with, and therefore they do not know that I have one leg. 

"Well it couldn't have been me, because I can't get away because I have one leg!!"  The response I got was amazing. The guy who was leading this game just looks at me and says "No you don't." 

……..

I wasn't sure how to respond, so I reverted to the days of Kindergarten and said "Yes I do."

"That's a sick joke. You don't have one leg." 

At this point, my friends start sticking up for me. One of my friends said "Dude. She really does have one leg." 

His response?

"Oh yeah? Prove it." 

I love a challenge.

I rolled up my jeans on my left leg, pushed the button that releases my residual limb from the socket, and pulled it off. And this next part was actually an accident. 

Somehow when I pulled off the leg, it got out of my hand, and onto the floor right in front of the guy who challenged me. 

Now this guy is very tall, tough-guy, and athletic. As soon as my leg was off and right at his feet, he freaked out.  Not only was this guy like "OH MY GOSH!!!" but he started crying. 

I actually made a guy cry just by throwing my leg at him. I felt bad at first, but not for long. You can imagine this guy crying at the sight of a prosthetic leg…..I mean, come on….needless to say, this is one of the best pranks/things I have pulled. 

"What if?"

Besides the fact that I am an amputee, I am, believe it or not, a normal person.  I can walk, run, cycle, ski.....crazy right?

It always amazes me that people don't realize that amputees really aren't these poor sad people who crawl around on their nubs being completely pitiful. It's sort of condescending really. For the past six years, I have gone on an Amputee Ski Trip with MD Anderson, and I went on another ski trip in 2010 with Scottish Rite (shout out to Amanda!!!).  When I first got my amputation I wasn't able to even stand up on skis, and now I am skiing blacks. (The most difficult/challenging terrain for those of you who don't know about skiing.) The attitude I always try to keep in mind is that I can do anything, and it has proven itself to be helpful for the past seven years.

After my amputation I wasn't sure what I was going to be able to do. I'm sure most amputees go through this...the "What if?"

"What if I'm not able to do this or that?"
"What if people don't like me anymore?"
"What if...."

If we base our lives on the "What if?" we are bound to hold ourselves back. I don't know who reads this blog, but here is what I want to say to all my readers:

To all new amputees:
I know that what you are going through is really hard. But don't live on "What if?" You can do anything that you want to do, and don't let anybody tell you differently. Doctors or friends can't make you not be able to do things.

To all other amputees:
Keep on keepin' on.  I know that there are tough times in the amputation, but as I just told the new amputees, don't hold yourself back. You are all special, and you can do anything any four-limbed person can do.

To all the four-limbers:
I don't want to say "Don't be hatin'." because I know that many of y'all aren't. But for those of you who think that amputees aren't able to do anything you can do, you are wrong. The only difference between us is that you have more limbs. I know many amputees, myself included, who do many sports, including skiing expert terrain. For those of you who have been encouraging and loving towards amputees, I truly want to thank you. Without your compassion, we wouldn't be the same.


I know it's been a while since I posted, and this post isn't really that amusing, but this was weighing on my heart, and I had to share it with you. Thank you for reading, and I hope that there is more to come, sooner rather than later!!!!